


i never thought i'd wait so long for you

by cupidshootstokill



Series: past lives [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: "penpals", Alpha!Azula, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fire Nation Royal Family, M/M, Minor Character Death, aang and zuko are both 18, alpha!aang, azula has a mystery fiance, did i mention how much i love azula?, omega!Zuko, the fire siblings are soft for each other, there's no war, u have an aang!centric chapter and a zuko!centric chapter, zuko and aang are penpals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 00:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20666240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupidshootstokill/pseuds/cupidshootstokill
Summary: continuation of "save that heart for me" (pls read it first!)set the day before aang arrives at the fire nation palace. aang talks to roku and zuko catches up with azula. they both prepare to see each other again after two years.





	1. all my past lives, they got nothing on me

Honestly, Aang assumed Roku would be happy about his extended visit to the Fire Nation. Aang was happy for sure, it had been two years since he had first met Zuko. It would be unfair to say that those years had dragged past, rather it was the opposite. Aang’s time in the Water Tribe and the Earth Kingdom had flown by. He had nothing but fond memories of the friends he’s made. He loved penguin sledging with Katara and Sokka, Master Pakku’s grandchildren, going to Earth Rumble VI with Toph, an extraordinary earthbender that would give King Bumi a run for his money. Together, they had seen much of the world, encountered all kinds of people and rode a vast variety of strange animals. Of course, he was ultimately there to train, as Pakku reminded him countless times. He was grateful for the Air Temples being located all over the world, whenever he missed home and his people, he and Appa would head back for a few days. He wrote to Gyatso regularly, keeping his mentor informed of his training and progress, asking for the older monk’s advice whenever he felt like he hit a wall. It was reassuring to know that after all this time, Gyatso was still there for him, Aang doubted he could let go of this attachment no matter how old he got, or how experienced he become as an Avatar. 

He had stopped by at Crescent Island before heading to the Fire Nation Capital. Aang had made a habit of visiting sites of his past lives, ever since his warm welcome at Kyoshi Island. It just felt like something he ought to do, it helped him connect to them, seek the advice of people who were essential just him, the past wisdom of different lifetimes. Aang had spoken to Roku many times before, he was his direct predecessor and consequently the easiest to reach out to. 

He was sitting in front of the golden statue of Avatar Roku as he had done the first time he had reached out to his past life. It wasn’t the Solstice. After the connection had been established, the timing had no longer mattered, as long as Aang enters a deep enough state of mediation. 

In a way, he wished it was the Solstice, the anticipation of finally seeing Zuko again made focusing harder than usual. He was about to give up, sighing deeply and looking around at the red and gold flames engraved around the statue in dismay. Besides, there was always the Fire Sages Capital Temple. Maybe his resolve would return to him after he’d seen Zuko, they could visit the temple together, like a date or something.

Aang drew in a deep breath. He’ll try one last time, and this time he won’t let his concentration drift. He closed his eyes, breathing in and out a few times, letting the innate spirituality of the temple take control and led him to Roku. In a flash of translucent blue light, the visage of his past life materialised in front of him.

“Greetings, Aang,” Roku said as he opened his eyes. 

“Roku!” he smiled back, and then bowed. It was difficult to grasp how he ought to behave with his past lives. On one hand, they were his seniors and held a mentor-like role within his spiritual training, but technically they were also Aang, and it was hard to define where the boundaries between the two of them lay. Roku didn’t seem to care much, either way.

Aang liked Roku, he was always very amicable towards him, patiently guiding him through the Spirit World and keeping him focused on his duties as Avatar. He reminded him of Gyatso, although maybe that wasn’t a coincidence, the two men were born in the same era, and Roku later revealed that the monk had been a friend of his. 

“You have last arrived in my nation of birth. Listen closely, Aang, it has been over a hundred years since I have altered the Fire Nation’s path away from destruction. In doing so, balance had swiftly been restored, and while I do not regret my actions, much has been sacrificed on my part. Sozin had been my dearest friend, and at a point my youth, I believed our relationship would progress into something greater, however, I had cast aside my ill-fated affections for the sake of the world.” Although his voice held its familiar gentleness and measured speech, Roku’s face bore a grim expression, staring into Aang with unfamiliar sternness. The atmosphere of the room began to change, the sunlight streaming in through the open window faded, and shadows hung heavily in the room as the air itself became still.  
Aang sat, looking back at Roku with unease, he felt as if you were being scolded, or more likely warned.

“And you killed Fire Lord Sozin, even though he was your lover,” Aang replied, his expression mirroring his predecessor. His own words made him nauseous.

“I did what I had to do. Sozin made his plans of invading and colonising other nations apparent to me. He spoke deceitfully of graciousness and charity, saying that he would be sharing the Fire Nation’s wealth and prosperity with the rest of the world. As we shared a bed, he foolishly expected my compliance. Out of love for him, I issued Sozin several warnings, I tried to dissuade him to the best of my ability. He took no heed to my words. I realised he had changed, or perhaps a side of him I had never seen before began to take over after his coronation. Greed had clouded his vision. The man I had once loved, had come to love power over peace over me. Ending his life was a difficult thing, but it had to have been done.”

“I understand that, so why are you telling me this?” Aang asked.

“Sozin died while his Fire Lady was pregnant with his only son, Azulon. I raised the boy with my wife, Ta Min, away from the palace, so that he would not be corrupted by his father’s ministers from a young age. All the while, I took it upon myself to investigate the royal court and weed out the officials who were motivated by personal greed, and those who sought to plunge the Fire Nation into war. By the time Azulon became of age, the royal court had been renewed with eager, young ministers, keen to serve their country and the throne. I had hoped my actions would deter Azulon from the path his father took as he ascended to the throne. 

“So far, the Fire Nation continues to prosper, engaging with other nations with diplomacy. The shared wealth that Sozin had talked was achieved by his son through trade. The Fire Nation aids the others through famine, and that help is returned in periods of drought. Balance is maintained.

“However I advise you to not forget anything I have said. From the surface, Aang, all may seem well, but politics are not so simple. It may be cruel of me to doubt the family of the boy raised as my own, but power is a dangerous thing, in the hands of the wrong person, it can corrupt them. Nefarious intent may hide behind a friendly smile. You must be mindful your position as Avatar when interacting with others, and you must not allow affection or personal favour cloud your decisions. Of course, you cannot live in distrust, nor become cold, but I ask you to not abandon caution, Aang.” Roku bowed and disappeared. 

Aang continued to sit still in the room, now lit by the setting sun, his eyes fixed on the golden statue of Roku. A few seconds passed as his senses returned to him, even still, he felt disoriented, bowing his head into his lap and sighing in despair. That... did not go as he thought it would.

His past life’s warning rang clear in his ear as he and Appa neared the Royal Palace, sickening thoughts continued to swamp his mind. Now, he felt like an idiot for his former excitement. Roku’s words made him feel like he had been pathetically naive all this time, so painfully unaware of the world for how it truly is. It would still be a while until he becomes a Fully Realised Avatar, hopefully by then, he would be smarter. Appa descended onto the scorched land within the palace gates, at the same time a dark pit of anxiety dropped into Aang’s stomach. Guards rushed to him, Aang concealed his troubled mind with an empty smile as they bowed before him.


	2. golden eagle, you're the one and only

The sun had just begun to set, but it was already past dinnertime. Zuko sat by the pond, poetry book in hand, but his eyes drifted over the pages in a reverie to the surface of the water, now painted pink by the setting sun. 

He hardly had a spare moment in spring, his schedule packed with various appearances in festivals all over the Fire Nation. It was chaotic, and Zuko equal parts loved and hated it. 

It was like the trip he went on with Uncle Iroh. He revelled in the comfortable freedom of walking from booth to booth, eat festival food and buy stupid little trinkets for his mother. Gone were the days of scarcely breathing and sitting poised beside the throne, his feet long accustomed to the numbness and mind zoning out through the monotony. He liked the country lords, the friendly faces of their family, and their sprawling open estates. He smiled fondly as the mayor's daughter told him about her crush on the doctor's boy, reminiscing about how Mai would talk about the girls from school, bashful but hiding it well behind her pale makeup and long burgundy sleeves. He didn't get to see her much these days. She was newlywed and had taken up the domestic duties of managing a household, but she writes about Ty Lee's acrobatics and auras and an easy smile. And he was happy for her.

But it was lonely, travelling with a crew he hardly knew and only Druk for company. The Palace was so far away, his mother had been bedridden with a fever and Lu Ten needed Uncle by his side as he welcomed his firstborn child into the world. Azula was even further away, visiting her fiancé, paying her respects to his family and strengthening politic ties between them and the Fire Nation. She did write to him, about cultural differences and the climate, how different the political sphere operated over there compared to back home. She hardly mentioned him, but Zuko didn’t exactly expect her to write about her feelings openly.

They were sitting together by the pond, both having returned from their respective adventures. She was reading an old tome, turning the pages methodically. His book rested idly in his hands, his mind unmoved by the verses and sonnets of love. They had exchanged pleasantries earlier, she made a couple of backhanded compliments and he teased her about her fiancé. It was only for a couple of seconds at most, but her awkward spluttering was unforgettable. His unflappable little sister, shaken at last. But she recovered with her accustomed grace, eyes wickedly narrowing as she reminded Zuko of the arrival of his "penpal" tomorrow. 

He had been exchanging letters off and on with the Avatar for the past two years. Everyone knew about this, and they all interpreted it as they pleased, no matter how many Zuko insisted they were just friends. Azula was particularly aggravating in this aspect, not even being subtle in how she peered over his shoulders, snatching the paper from his grasp whenever she read something particularly amusing. 

But she hadn't said anything all evening, even at dinner when Father mentioned it. She could have chimed in about Aang visiting Crescent Island, and gifts he had brought from the Earth Kingdom specifically for Zuko, but she had blessedly kept her mouth shut. Zuko wondered what the price was for her silence. Maybe this was the peace before the storm, before Aang's arrival. 

Azula had stopped her page turning, she set the book down on the grass. Zuko could feel her expectant stare on the back of his head, as she stretched back like a leopardcat. He leaned back, not quite sure of what she wants, but thinking he might as well deal with her before she resorted to prodding. 

"If you want to spar, then go bother one of the guards," he said, putting his book down all the same. 

Azula moved closer towards him, resting her head on his shoulder, a gesture familiar from their childhood of sitting through plays and operas with their mother, half asleep against each other. The warm amber scent was a new addition, but he adored it. Zuko remembered her coming of age ceremony when she became an alpha, her resplendent golden robes and her hair tied back with a phoenix hairpiece. He remembered feeling all the more bitter about his omega status, how he hated the flowers in his hair, how proud Father was of Azula. He had to tell himself it didn’t matter, how Uncle was the most celebrated general in the Fire Nation, and still an omega, how he didn't really want the throne anyway, how bothersome it must be to sit with Father through meetings, how spending time with Mother was more fun. It was all true. And after the initial bout of jealousy subsided, he realised he didn't actually hate being an omega at all. 

He relaxed into her scent, feeling all the more susceptible to her demands and cursing himself internally for it. With a serpentine smile on her painted lips, she turned toward him. "I think we ought to visit the Royal Spa, don't you?" 

He hummed noncommittally in response, turning away from her.

"Oh don't be lazy, Zuzu. You hardly have anything better to do," she grabbed his shoulders and shook him gently. It was hard not to smile at her childish antics, he'd missed her so much. Slowly he got up on his feet. 

“Don’t you have better things to do than being pampered? Like whatever that is?” Zuko gestured to the official documents and book, now scattered by the trunk of the tree.

Azula stood up in turn. “Well, of course, dear brother, I have plenty to occupy myself with. But I'm feeling generous with my time and it has been a while since we've properly spent time together” She beckoned her maidservant over with a wave. The girl scampered over quickly and immediately bowed down to pick up the scrolls and Azula’s writing set from her little desk, and scampered back into the palace as quickly as she came. 

“And besides, I can imagine you're awfully preoccupied with thoughts of your beloved penpal. I, myself, do not see the point of anxiously brooding over love poetry. Beautification may be a more worthy endeavour, I am sure your good looks will be appreciated tomorrow.”

Zuko pursed his lips, prepared to retort, but the words failed him. Azula had already had her way and he let her perfectly manicured hand wrap around his wrist as they crossed the courtyard, back into the main palace. He knew she meant well in her own way, and if he was lucky, maybe she would open up about her own love life.

“I suppose a handsome face won’t make you a better conversationalist,” she teased. “Although if what Katara tells me is true, you would hardly need to do much talking. I’m sure your young Avatar would love to regal you with tales of his adventures.”

“You haven’t seen how long some of his letters are, I’d be surprised if there’s anything more to say,” Zuko remarked. He recalled when Aang wrote about Omashu and its eccentric king and its clever mail delivery system which he had misused for his own mischief. The bit about the Cave of the Two Lovers was, well, interesting. The level of detail he retold the story in? Excessive.

“Yes, and you scarcely write a page back in response,” Azula quipped, and she wasn't wrong. Zuko was never much of a storyteller, he wasn't like his uncle or cousin. Words escaped him, and admittedly he didn't think his life was all that interesting. Aang was the Avatar and he travelled the world, learning the elements. He wrote of a new friend and place every letter, there was only so much Zuko could say about the Fire Nation court. Even the things that were exciting, like his travels, Mai's marriage and Lu Ten's baby, he couldn't find the right words to describe how he felt. His sparse responses left him guilty, so he started studying poetry and reading tales, so he could express himself better.

But improvement was slow, and Zuko still felt guilty. “I spend him my drawings, and tea leaves,” Zuko replied, quietly. It was better than nothing, he reasoned. Uncle had a constant stream of tea varieties shipped to the Palace, and Zuko drew when he was bored. They were both pointless little things, but he hoped he could convey a sense of self to Aang. Like an oolong blend and sparrowdove could tell him something about Zuko as a person that words could not express. 

Somehow, Azula seemed to understand, she was good at reading between lines. She rubbed his arm, and smiled fondly at him, “And I’m sure he treasures them very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls guess azula's mystery fiance in the comments (it's pretty obvious tbh)

**Author's Note:**

> also!! i finally figured out what i want to do with the story, a whole year after writing "so save that heart for me", i know i'm terrible. it's kind of predictable, but predictable isn't necessarily bad if executed well (right??)


End file.
